You’re 12 years old, growing up too fast and living in South East London. You don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing, but you also don’t care – all that matters right now is having a strong voice and opinion. Rebelling is your thing. That’s okay do your thing, but only when it’s yours. And part of your process. Don’t be so loyal to those who aren’t on this journey with you, don’t dumb down to fit in and start looking out for number one. Use that anger to fight the people you need to fight, but extend your awareness so that you can see the people who really want to help.
By the time you realise half the things I’m talking about, you’ll have bucked your ideas up and started proving people wrong anyway, walking away from school with 10+ GCSE passes. A few or more people will kick you down along the way, but your resilience is better than it will ever be (trust me, I know). Ignore the people who believe your exterior and open your heart to those who see past it.
However much you search for the truth, you won’t find it. Not yet. And there’s a good reason for that. Stop searching, Marie, and start enjoying life. The right time will come, and once it does you’ll understand why it doesn’t come sooner.
When you get to college, the past will begin to blow away. The friends you want to keep are there to support you, but new challenges are ready and waiting for you to tackle as an individual. Remember that time your school’s workplace advisor told you that your only option was to take health & social care at sixth form or hair & beauty at college? Yeah, well – get used to adults, authorities and leaders being wrong, misleading and corrupt. There’s lots more of that to come! Your job is to keep that sense of self and purpose strong, even during the hardest of times.
One of these times will be 9-months into your first ‘real’ job, aged 17, when you develop life crippling anxiety and start having daily panic attacks that stop you from getting to work, travelling alone and socialising with friends. Anxiety is no walk in the park, and it takes time to overcome it. You don’t deserve this, so don’t tell yourself you do. Act on your instincts and change whatever you need to in order to recover. Soon you’ll realise the only pressure in life is the pressure you accept.
When you truly try, you do achieve – whether it’s passing your maths exam (YES, YOU FINALLY PASS MATH), overcoming anxiety and depression or starting your very own business!
The Future Marie x