Ambition is a funny thing. I’m currently the busiest I’ve ever been and although I love it, there are times that the stress of running a business, full-time blog and a household overwhelms me. Through choosing to have ambition, my life is sometimes hard work, relentless and tiresome. I’ve had weeks where 12-hour days are just the tip of the iceberg, weeks where anxiety consumes me and days when I want the floor to swallow me up.
Then there are weeks where I feel on top of the world. You know the type of weeks where fist-pumping during the day just feels right?! I’ve walked out of meetings before and felt better than I’ve ever felt. Getting it right is a beautiful feeling.
Take me on holiday and you’ll soon find out that I get itchy feet. I start making notes on the beach, downloading business-related apps using the hotel’s free wi-fi and brainstorming over our candle-lit dinner, even though I’ve literally begged for a holiday all year.
Like I said, ambition is a funny thing. For some people, it’s one of those things you can’t live with and can’t live without. For me personally, not having ambition is a really scary concept. I can’t imagine it not being a part of me, probably because it always has been. It’s totally alien for me to think of a life where you’re not chasing a dream – not aiming for more; no matter where you are or what you’re doing in the world.
I’ve often though of just ‘being’ and what it would be like to be a person who just goes wherever the wind blows. I struggle to understand those that sit back and wait for things to happen, but sometimes I wonder if maybe this is a happier life to lead. I actually experienced a time in my life where I wanted to be one of those people, as I was struggling with such extreme stress and anxiety at the time that giving up completely seemed desirable for the first time.
Do those with ambition really lead more content lives in the end? Can you ever have too much ambition?
I guess the most obvious answer would be yes. Most people would agree that a balance is best, but let me just put to you this:
My ambition excites me, spurs me on and sometimes even the stress can feel validating. I work towards my goals using my ambition to carry me further and all the while I smile knowingly because one day it will all be worth while, and then, and only then, I’ll become someone who can kick back and relax.
Maybe a balance is best and in my defence, not all my weeks are as bad as some of the ones I’ve described here. But right now I’m pushing forward in life and setting down my foundations for the future, and mainly enjoying it because I know it is the best thing for me, personally. I’m also looking to embrace the things that I enjoy, which happens to be the career path that I have chosen.
Writing this makes me realise that ambition is worthwhile, at least to me anyway. There are plenty of different ways in which we can choose to lead our lives – notice the key word in there, choose. And what’s even more brilliant about life is that you can change whenever you want to. You can live a simple life, a busy life or a balanced life, or a mixture of all three! There’s no clear-cut answer to this question, so surely we should simply follow our hearts and be true to ourselves.